


animal

by ssoftmess



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, its soft i promise, kyungsoo is insecure but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 06:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16592744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssoftmess/pseuds/ssoftmess
Summary: I told you something safeSomething I've never said beforeAnd I, I, I can't keep my hands off youWhile you lie in the wakeCovered all in the night beforeI'm high, high, high, no one's got me quite like you





	animal

**Author's Note:**

> i got the idea for this when i listened to the song "animal" by troye sivan for the first time!
> 
> please don't be too harsh, since this is my first time writing an actual fic ddjfdjlks.. also, english isn't my first language, so sorry for any language errors!
> 
> thanks a lot to anna, my biggest inspiration and role model (ily)
> 
> please enjoy <3

3.06. The red numbers on the alarm clock blinked angrily at Kyungsoo when he slowly opened his eyes and sat up, frowning as his eyes tried to get used to the darkness. It was still blurry though, thanks to Kyungsoo’s awful eyesight, but he didn’t actually mind. He would probably just go back to sleep soon, anyway.

Although, because of the blurriness, he couldn’t actually distinguish any specific furniture in the room. He smiled as he imagined how Baekhyun would probably whine about his fear of the darkness if he was awake, and compare the disfigured blobs to monsters from all the horror movies they have seen before. Kyungsoo personally thought it was beautiful – the room looked like an abstract painting, with the shadows cast across the room looking like brush streaks of dark blues, grays and blacks. It was also nice to not have to think about his bad eyesight for once, having to constantly take care of it either by putting on his glasses or by squinting, which always made someone feel uncomfortable.

The air coming through the small opening in the window felt fresh and the pillows in his bed were still wet from their hair, a fading memory of the summer rain that fell earlier. The taste of cheap beer still lingered on his taste buds, even though he had made sure to brush his teeth carefully and even drank a glass of water before they went to bed. It still felt like his heart beat to the same rhythm as the loud bass at the club earlier, making his ears almost start ringing again at the memory. The soft snoring and occasional small whimpers reminded him of the presence of another body next to his, making him smile to himself. 

It was incredibly peaceful, and Kyungsoo longed for more nights like this - nights without insecurities and anxiety ruining the perfectness of the moments he shared with Baekhyun. He glanced towards said boy again, but quickly looked away again as he shyly looked down into his hands resting in his lap and bit his bottom lip, almost as if he had been caught.

There was something about Baekhyun he had never seen in another person before, something solely unique about him. He exuded an intense energy of confidence, yet there was an aura of softness within it that left Kyungsoo’s poor head in a constant state of confusion. And the words that left Baekhyun’s mouth could be incredibly harsh for someone that experienced it the first time, but it was only playful teasing that came from a place of love and deep trust towards the person that was the victim of the constant attacks. And he was always brutally honest and loud about it, but he could also sit completely silent, only listening and observing the situation, the people. He would never let a lie leave his tongue, but would avoid telling the truth if he knew that it was too hurtful. But, it all lead to Baekhyun being often misunderstood – people often either had difficulty taking him seriously or called him out for being too insensitive.

Kyungsoo was one of the people that had difficulties understanding Baekhyun. In all honesty, he could in no way wrap his head around how the mind of Baekhyun worked. He was genuinely curious about Baekhyun, and wanted to know more about his unique traits and quirks. Kyungsoo tried to not be judgmental whenever he came across something new about him that annoyed him, but instead tried to accept it and love it for what they it was. And, it’s not like Kyungsoo was any better.

And, as he got to know Baekhyun better, there was some new (and old) thoughts and feelings that started to stir up in Kyungsoo. It was not like Kyungsoo was more confident before he met Baekhyun – he was just better at hiding his insecurities and convincing himself that they were inexistent. But, with the new friendship with Baekhyun, there was both a deep insecurity, that he had kept in the dark for very long, suddenly resurfacing. Baekhyun was the literal embodiment of everything Kyungsoo wanted to be – Baekhyun’s bold and colorful personality made Kyungsoo seem bland and gray in comparison. But, there was also a new kind of insecurity coming forward at the realisation that Baekhyun was everything Kyungsoo wanted to have. 

And Kyungsoo let these insecurities take over. He always felt small next to Baekhyun, and he never dared to speak up if he wasn’t addressed. He always held an eye on Baekhyun, scared that he would disappear if he looked the other way. But, it was alright – because, whenever their eyes met and Baekhyun would let out a teasing remark, his heart beamed. But, the downside was that his face would turn completely red, which brought out that remarkable laughter of Baekhyun’s (but that was perfectly fine, too.)

But, it – this friendship or whatever it was that they had – had started to slowly change the past couple of months. Kyungsoo had slowly started to gain confidence, making peace with himself and his insecurities, spent nights convincing himself to just _say it_. And there was something new in Baekhyun that he had started to get a glimpse of occasionally – it was unsure hands seeking after his, soft eyes that lingered a little too long, new type of gentleness to his words whenever they were directed towards Kyungsoo. It was as if he lived in some kind of possible future or alternative universe, where he and Baekhyun could live freely, side by side, without these complicated feelings getting in the way, stopping him, making him too scared to just take that final step.

But, he knew that Baekhyun was patient, and would wait for him without hesitation, no matter how long it took. But, there was still a constant reminder in the back of his head, that he would eventually grow tired and stop waiting for him, before Kyungsoo even would have the chance to say _it_.

Kyungsoo’s fears were reasonable, though – or actually, no – to be completely honest, that was a blatant lie. Kyungsoo was just trying to convince himself that. He was genuinely embarrassed of his own behavior. He wanted to be honest with Baekhyun about his true feelings, but instead, he just felt sorry for himself and dealt with it alone. And it made him act like a real asshole sometimes, especially every Friday whenever he, Baekhyun, Sehun and Chanyeol would go out. Baekhyun would always ask him if he wanted to dance, and although it was him who declined, he always felt a little bitter that Baekhyun didn’t seem as saddened by the repeated answer as he wanted him to be. Instead, he chose to stay in a corner by himself, observing Baekhyun, and feeling jealous whenever a guy did something as innocent as looking towards Baekhyun The shame always came afterwards, when they walked home in the cold and he felt Baekhyun shyly inch closer to him as he timidly took his hand in his, smiling while red dusted his cheeks – Kyungsoo didn’t know if it was from the coldness of the weather ot the embarrassment, but he didn’t dare to ask. That’s when the realization, that Baekhyun was his, came to him, but he only had to say _it_.

There had been a feeling of change tonight, though. Like maybe tonight was the night to.. say it. _It_ – confess the pain, the confusion, the insecurity, the anxiety, _the way his heart sped up whenever Baekhyun laughed at a joke he made, the way the hair in his neck rose whenever Baekhyun stepped a little closer to whisper into his ear, the way his mouth got dry whenever Baekhyun’s hand brushed against his… The way he had fallen in love with Baekhyun, one of his closest friends, over the past months._  

It all started when they got into the club and the first thing Baekhyun had done was leave him to stand by himself in a corner, not even asking him for a dance. Instead, he had directly made his way to the dance floor, all alone. Kyungsoo couldn’t remember what song was playing, but he could remember the heavy bass, the sultry female voice of the singer and the slow rhythm. As soon as Baekhyun had started to dance, he spun around to face Kyungsoo directly and there was something in his gaze that Kyungsoo couldn’t recognize. They held eye contact like that throughout the song, and the song after that, until he couldn’t remember how many songs Baekhyun had danced to. Whenever Kyungsoo would turn around to order a drink from the bar, and then look back towards Baekhyun when he was, his eyes still the same, exactly as he had left them. Kyungsoo stood there, absolutely awestruck by the dancing man, the whole evening. Tonight, their eyes had spoken in millions of ways that words just couldn’t.

It was as if a magic spell broke when Baekhyun suddenly stopped dancing in the middle of a techno song and started making his way through the crowd, towards Kyungsoo. That was the moment he suddenly realized that he had no idea how he was supposed to react to Baekhyun practically dancing for him – _was he even dancing for him? Should he pretend like it didn’t happen, incase Baekhyun didn’t think of it the same way Kyungsoo interpreted it? But, what if Baekhyun expected him to say something? Then, what should he say?_

The panicking thoughts was cut to a sudden stop when Baekhyun stopped in front of him – a little breathless, a little sweaty, but with a lively glow to him. ”Hi.” He greeted, trying to sound nonchalant, but having a hard time hiding his wide smile when he saw Kyungsoo gulping. ”Hey.” Kyungsoo greeted back, his voice soft, too low to even be heard over the music – Baekhyun had heard it so many times now though, in the same kind of tone and volume, that he could hear it in his head.

Kyungsoo had no interest in fashion, whatsoever – but Baekhyun could make any clothes look good. It didn’t make it better that he actually had a sense of fashion and wore fantastic clothes, like tonight. Kyungsoo couldn’t get the image of Baekhyun on the dance floor out of his head – his black boots, his tight, leather pants hugging his thighs perfectly, and the wonderful black tank top with a neck line so deep and arm holes so big that it barely covered nothing as he slowly circled his hips to the rhythm, singing along to the song with lips shiny of lipgloss, the smokey eyeshadow making his eyes intense and sultry as they looked into Kyungsoo’s.

Baekhyun observed Kyungsoo in silence as he struggled getting his heart beat down to normal speed, taking abnormally big breaths. He forgot about his unnaturally widened eyes, his slightly gaping mouth and flared nostrils – but Baekhyun found it endearing that he tried so hard to act normal around him. Kyungsoo quickly blinked a couple of times, frowning as he looked down on the floor before slowly looking up as he shyly met Baekhyun’s intense eyes. They stood there in silence for a moment – Baekhyun silently hoping that Kyungsoo would just take the damn hint, Kyungsoo silently hoping that Baekhyun would save the situation. Eventually, Baekhyun cleared his throat, losing patience and hope. ”Kyungsoo, I want to go home~ Are you done, yet?” He whined, pouting at the younger (their age difference still confused Kyungsoo) before he grabbed his arm, hugging it to his chest. Kyungsoo chuckled softly, taking his glass to finish the last of his drink before paying. ”Let’s go home, Baekhyun.” He said, leading the elder out of the club and into the rainy summer night.

And now they were here, in _Kyungsoo’s_ home, that quickly had become Baekhyun’s home as well over the weekends. The first time he had slept over after their usual night out, Baekhyun immediately fell into the bed, leaving Kyungsoo wondering if he was supposed to lie down next to him or just take the sofa. When he had started to make his way into the living room, preparing himself to spend the night on his too small sofa, he had been stopped when Baekhyun suddenly had grabbed his wrist and mumbled a silent _”stay”_ under his breath, almost fully asleep. It still made Kyungsoo’s heart soar.

As Kyungsoo leaned against the wall with a huff, he looked down at the man sleeping next to him again. He looked at him for a moment – observing the smooth skin, the closed eyes and the long eyelashes, the mole above the pouty lips that were slightly agape as he breathed through his mouth, sometimes closing it to scrunch his nose as he sniffed. Kyungsoo lied down and hesitated slightly, before he slowly scooted closer until their foreheads were against each other’s, their noses softly caressed, and their lips were dangerously close as they shared the same air.

”I love you, Baekhyun.” He whispered, too scared to say it any louder. A small smile made its presence on Baekhyun’s lips, as if he knew. Kyungsoo breath hitched – _was he awake?_ ”I love you, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo said again, still a whisper, but with a little bit more confidence this time. The sudden confidence he had gained surprised. There was a risk that Baekhyun could be awake, but that just added to the adrenaline pumping in his veins.

His eyes widened in panic when Baekhyun started to slowly open his eyes. He quickly scooted back to give the older some personal space, a million thoughts flying through his head in a panicky mania. Baekhyun smiled back at Kyungsoo when he noticed the younger staring at him with wide eyes.

”How long have you been staring at me like that, you creep?” He said, as teasing as ever, which only made Kyungsoo grin widely although his cheeks were burning.

”I wasn’t staring, I was just counting your pimples.” He mumbled under his breath, a bad attempt at trying to tease back. Baekhyun just rolled his eyes, scooting back a bit as he stretched his limbs. He groaned loudly, which eventually ended as a yawn. Kyungsoo continued to stare at him, grinning, but immediately stopped when he noticed that Baekhyun was watching him again. Baekhyun smiled as he shook his head, before propping himself up on his elbow. Watching over Kyungsoo’s shoulder, he looked at the red numbers on the alarm clock standing on the night stand beside the younger. He frowned as lied down again, looking back at Kyungsoo.

”Why are you awake, Soo?” He asked, his voice suddenly soft. Kyungsoo blushed and immediately looked away, fumbling with the covers.

”What exactly.. are we, Baekhyun?” He asked, his voice tinier than usual. Baekhyun chuckled lightly, shaking his head.

”Are you seriously thinking about this at 3am?” He asked instead, an eyebrow raised in question, which made Kyungsoo look at him again. He nodded his head timidly, before looking away again as Baekhyun giggled again. ”Cute..” Baekhyun mumbled under his breath, which made Kyungsoo grimace.

Baekhyun sighed deeply before scooting closer to Kyungsoo, looking him deeply in the eyes. Kyungsoo, although careful, met his gaze.

”You know that I love you, right?” Baekhyun asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Kyungsoo stiffened as the words left Baekhyuns mouth, frowning in confusion before his eyebrows shot up in chock.

”You.. you do?” He asked, the answer to the question obvious yet hard for Kyungsoo to fully understand. Baekhyun frowned as he tilted his head to the side. ”Didn’t you understand that already?”

Kyungsoo bit his lip, shaking his head as his cheeks kept getting hotter. How could Baekhyun be so _casua_ l about this? As if he could read Kyungsoo’s thoughts, Baekhyun started to smile – not grin, like he would usually do whenever Kyungsoo acted like this in broad daylight. 

”Kyungsoo, baby..” He started, a soft whisper that made Kyungsoo shiver all over. ”Can’t you see that I want you all to myself?” He asked, letting his fingers softly caress Kyungsoo’s arm. Kyungsoo gulped as he carefully put his hand over Baekhyun’s. He took a deep breath, and suddenly remembered how hot his cheeks were, which made him blush even more.

”Want me to show it instead?” He asked, his voice suddenly deeper than Kyungsoo had ever heard it before. He frowned, not really knowing what Baekhyun meant by that statement, but nodded anyways. With a smirk on his lips, Baekhyun put his hand on Kyungsoo’s cheek and let his thumb slowly stroke his cheekbone. Kyungsoo bit his lip when he met Baekhyun’s intense gaze – this felt way more intimate than the look they had shared in the club. In the club, it had felt like their bodies were literal miles apart – and now they were here, with only thin layers of clothing separating their bodies from each other’s. Kyungsoo could hear Baekhyun take a deep breath, could feel how he breathed the warm air out through his nose, before he tilted his head to the side and let their lips meet.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched and his whole body stiffened, not knowing how to react at all. Baekhyun’s hand cupped his cheek, and as he slowly started to move his lips against Kyungsoo’s and stroke his tongue against the younger’s lip, seeking permission to enter his mouth, he melted fully into the kiss. After a while, Kyungsoo started to carefully move his lips in response, and the way Baekhyun’s breath hitched made him smile into the kiss. He grabbed Baekhyun’s elbow, chuckling softly as he felt the goosebumps on his arm, before pulling him closer.

Baekhyun took over his mind, his senses, his soul, his body. Every thought that had crossed his mind before completely vanished. His name, his age, his birth town, every known fact about him – nothing of that mattered right in this moment, because it all belonged to Baekhyun. It was Baekhyun’s smell that took over his sense of smell, the feeling of his smooth skin under his hands that took over his sense of touch, the taste of his tongue in his mouth that took over his sense of taste, and finally, the million sparks that he could see behind his closed eyelids took over his sense of sight.

Baekhyun was the first to pull away, and he had a dreamy look in his eyes that Kyungsoo had never seen before. ”I love you, I love you, I love you.” He whispered, repeating the words like a mantra, his voice raspy. ”Do you believe me now?” He asked, a tinge of desperation and sadness in his voice. ”And if you don’t, I will prove it to you every single day of my life, and even after that if it’s possible.. I will find a way, somehow.” He said, before Kyungsoo even had a chance to process the original question in his head.

Like a child needing comfort, Baekhyun snuggled his face into the space between Kyungsoo’s neck and shoulder. He silently let a few tears spill, before he finally let out a sob as his shoulders started to shake. Kyungsoo, still a little bit dazed and breathless from the kiss, finally came back to his senses as he heard the man in his embrace cry. He let his arms wrap closer around Baekhyun’s shaking form, hushing him as slowly let his petted the back of Baekhyun’s head, occasionally letting his fingers go through his hair.

”I’m sorry, baby..” He whispered into Baekhyun’s ear, which made the older shiver. ”I don’t care about forever, though. What I want is right now, this moment, with you. Will you let me?” He asked, looking down at the other.

 Baekhyun sniffled as he looked up from Kyungsoo’s shoulder, moving around and letting his chin rest on top of his chest instead. ”You say the cheesiest things, sometimes.” He mumbled, his eyes still wet and somewhat red after the impulsive crying session. ”But, why are you apologizing?” He asked, his voice raspy. 

”Because I was a dumbass. I should’ve just been honest from the beginning about my feelings, I didn’t have to make it so complicated. It’s just that.. There’s something about you, Baekhyun, that make me feel insecure. And I hate that feeling, because it makes me feel vulnerable, weak–”

He got interrupted by Baekhyun planting a small kiss on his chin. ”You also say the dumbest shit, sometimes.” He said, with a grin on his face.

”Your fears and insecurities are 100% valid, Kyungsoo. Don’t try to bring yourself down just because you have them. Everyone has them, trust me. You have to work with them, not against them, to evolve as a person.” He said, in which Kyungsoo hummed in reply.

”I still want you to forgive me, though. Can you?” He asked, pouting as he gave some sort of resemblance of puppy eyes. Baekhyun giggled, hitting him softly on the shoulder.

”I will, if you promise that you love me, too.”

”I do, Baekhyun. I love you, too.”


End file.
